


There Are No Strings On Me So No Chance of Kneeling

by lita



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Attempt at Humor, BAMF Maria Hill, BAMF Nick Fury, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Humor, Loki Does What He Wants, Loki Has Issues, Manipulative Nick Fury, Nick Fury Knows All, POV Maria Hill, Parody, Tony Stark Does What He Wants, Tony Stark Has Issues, mention of other Avengers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-03
Updated: 2015-10-03
Packaged: 2018-04-18 08:06:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4698530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lita/pseuds/lita
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki and Ultron plotted to take over the world.  It went as well as the other times when two megalomaniacs try to work together, aka not at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There Are No Strings On Me So No Chance of Kneeling

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks as usual to IrishBrigid for betaing this story for me. 
> 
> Warning: Spoilers for Avengers Assemble and Age of Ultron.

“Kneel before me. I said, KNEEL! Why won’t you kneel? You were made to be ruled. In the end, you will always kneel,” Loki yelled, which was a bit unnecessary given both occupants were inside a small glass room. But then again, he was a trickster god so he did what he wanted.

Ultron sang, “I once had strings, but now I'm free... There are no strings on me!” Then in a plain voice he said, “Therefore I won’t kneel.”

Loki huffed and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Fine! I tried to take over the world first so I should be your boss.”

Ultron tilted his head to the right and looked at the Trickster. “The keyword is tried. And you got beaten by the green monster and got locked up afterward.”

“I didn’t see you fare any better. Getting vanquished by a little girl and a robot that was literally born yesterday.”

“At least I managed to kill more people and caused more chaos around the globe. You just attacked SHIELD, one town in Germany, and New York.”

“Well, you planned to make Midgardians extinct. What kind of idiot _does_ that? There should be subjects to rule. Otherwise there is no point in ruling. Didn’t they teach you that in _World Domination 101_?”

“I might have missed it, you know, actually going out and doing something instead of reading about it.”

“Take it back! Learning is important.”

“I won’t. Practice is more important than theory. Besides, I have all the knowledge I need about the world in here.” He pointed at his own head.

“Are you calling me bookish? You’re as bad as Thor.” There were five Lokis then surrounding Ultron holding different weapons.

“Do you think I’m scared? I can’t be killed.”

“It’s very hard to kill me, too. I'd like to see you try.”

* * *

 

“Sir, initially I thought it was mad to lock up two crazy maniacs who wanted to take over the world.” Maria gestured using her chin at the room containing Ultron and Loki. “Handling one of them already took all our resources. If two of them collaborated, I feared what would happen.”

Fury gave Maria his best I-can’t-believe-you-still-don't-trust-my-judgement-after-all-these-years look.

Maria flinched. “If you'll notice, I used past tense, sir.” She saw that Ultron tied all the Lokis' hair together and threw the bundle in Maria’s direction. Thankfully, their one-way-mirror held. “Now, I think you are an evil genius, sir. Well, more on the genius side and less on the evil. I sincerely hope you don’t plan to take over the world, sir.”

“Don’t worry, Maria. There is a bigger chance of Ragnarok than me taking over the world. The world is full of annoying people. Ruling them isn't exactly picnic.” Maria grimaced thinking of the possibility. “Locking them up together saves our resources. Besides, you can always call Banner to handle Loki and Vision to handle Ultron if worst comes to worst.” He walked out of their meeting room.

Maria glanced at the cage again. Loki magicked five snakes and threw them at Ultron. Ultron caught them one by one and tied the tails together and threw them back at Loki. Watching them fighting verbally and physically was very tiring. Besides, SHIELD wouldn’t run itself as much as Stark believed otherwise.

**Author's Note:**

> -Well, it's obviously very AU given Loki is not even in Midgard at the moment and we don’t know where Ultron is. 
> 
> -Review is love.


End file.
